I am sitting with the rain, feeling its love, loving it in turn. I am finding beauty again.

The bed sheets are washing. Life. The gift prevails.

Sheets of rain now cleansing the tall trees. Cathartic.  It is always Mother Earth.

This is a special day, as they all are of course, but today’s moments are more present to me. I feel it all out there waiting. With the ancestors. With Mom and Dad.

I’m torn equally between watching a Hallmark movie and studying physics. The secrets of the universe calling me urgently.  Or Craig’s laughter. Or being absorbed by the rain.

Each drop a revelation.

I make the bed with the clean sheets. Aware. Aware.  They smell clean and fresh. Soft softness in the smell, in the light outside, in my heart.  And still the revelations of the universe come in each raindrop.

I take a long shower craving the freshness on my skin, the exhilaration of the water like raindrops. It’s well water after all, held deeply underground from the rain, now pouring over me.

The water dries easily off my skin, but holds fast on the glass shower enclosure. Note to self. Be like skin and not glass, absorbent and easily dried, not reflective and hard like glass, never allowing the rain, the water, in.

I put on my softest Buddha clothes, Buddha pants. The Buddha, now there’s someone who can shed light into the mysteries of this rain soaked day.

But I don’t need his enlightenment.  Only my own.

I google to see if Arianna Grande is married (she is), read Bewilderment (Richard Powers – brilliant!), and a bit of Louise Erdlich’s, Future Home of the Living God (how did I miss this in 2017?), then Andrew Doerr’s, Cloud Cookoo Land (so creatively crafted) – it’s truly strange how these random books I’ve selected for no apparent reason have threads that make sense to read them all at the same time –  and Adam and Eve (Sena Jeter Naslund). I print out a beautiful piece of art I found on Facebook of a woman embedded in nature with her animal self tangible and put it in a frame by my desk upstairs in the loft.

Then, I opt for the Hallmark movie, in my Buddha pants, and Craig’s laughter, fresh sheets waiting.

Feeling my own enlightenment.