Christmas at Midlife by Mary Anne Perrone

“I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task.
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.”

I have held this sacred time in myriad moments of gratitude and wonder, mountains and big sky Wonder.  Sweet and quiet, gifts of time and attention, and presents that took love and intention to choose.  Softly falling snow, the tall pines, fir and larch dressed in white lace, sparkling fires in the hearth, stockings hung, glowing trees in the forest with colorful lights for only us to see.  A dog to love us, brothers and sisters to call in, a matriarch to care for. These small treasures have proved nourishing and heart warming.

In gratitude and wonder, and with love, Merry Christmas 2019!