Category Archives: Sweet Breathing

Christmas at Midlife

Christmas at Midlife by Mary Anne Perrone

“I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task.
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness. I believe, I Believe.”

I have held this sacred time in myriad moments of gratitude and wonder, mountains and big sky Wonder.  Sweet and quiet, gifts of time and attention, and presents that took love and intention to choose.  Softly falling snow, the tall pines, fir and larch dressed in white lace, sparkling fires in the hearth, stockings hung, glowing trees in the forest with colorful lights for only us to see.  A dog to love us, brothers and sisters to call in, a matriarch to care for. These small treasures have proved nourishing and heart warming.

In gratitude and wonder, and with love, Merry Christmas 2019!

Sweet Solstice

“The winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close… like nature and the animal kingdom around us, this time of hibernation is so necessary for our tired limbs, our burdened minds.

Our modern culture teaches avoidance at a max at this time; alcohol, lights, shopping, overworking, over spending, comfort food and consumerism.

…and yet the natural tug to go inwards as nearly all creatures are doing is strong and the weather so bitter that people are left feeling that winter is hard, because for those of us without burning fires and big festive families, it can be lonely and isolating. Whereas in actual fact winter is kind, she points us in her quiet soft way towards our inner self, towards this annual time of peace and reflection, embracing the darkness and forgiving, accepting and loving, embracing goodbye the past year.

Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb like love, bringing fire & light to our hearth.

.. and then, just around the corner the new year will begin again, and like a seed planted deep in the earth, we will all rise with renewed energy once again to dance in the sunlight.”

–Brigit Anna McNeill

What Is Right and Beautiful

“I believe that if people from all of the different wisdom traditions gathered together and were asked to agree on one focus for a special day of reflection, “giving thanks” would be somewhere at the top of the list.
Gratitude changes us. Instead of looking at what’s wrong, we turn our hearts for a moment to what’s right. And there are so many things that are right.
For example, the appreciation of one complete breath (as corny as it sounds, whenever I turn my mind to gratitude, this is the first place I start)—feeling the fluttery exhilaration of the inhale, the excitement at the top of the inhale, the relaxation of a full and deep exhale, and then the interesting open space that awaits when our exhale is complete (you can tell I feel grateful for breathing).
And then there is the feeling of air on our skin, and the faces of the people we love, and the beauty of trees and the natural world . . . and we can each go on and on and on and on.
And let’s do that! Let’s go on and on and on and on about all of the ways that we appreciate what is right and beautiful in this moment (and if you’re at all like me, with a tendency to focus on problem-solving, this might not be your usual perspective).
And if you do go on and on and on and appreciate the beauty that is right here, you probably won’t need science to tell you that you have shifted the neural pathways in your brain (although scientific studies will certainly confirm that)—you can feel the immediate shift.”
-Tami Simon
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
-Meister Eckhard

When Great Trees Fall

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

-Maya Angelo

“And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those that are friends.”

-Richard Bach

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”

-Richard Bach

“Death is the beginning of the soul’s new journey”

-Sri Chinmoy

Dedicated to Reza and Arlisa…

“How are you going to choose to spend this moment …this breath? It’s all there is. How much can you love? How will you choose to live today?
Let us drop the the bullshit, let go of the stories of who you think you are, the voices that keep you small and the misbelief that you are anything less than the absolute totality of LOVE. Claim your moment…NOW. It is really all there is…right here right now”

-Arlisa Houston

“How our world has changed.

Apart but still together. Incredible.”

-Reza Darmono

I Say Yes

An ancient voice, always there, unearthed and unleashed, surrounded and supported by yesterday’s strangers who are now forever friends,  deeply embedded in my heart. Witnessing Love and Self through another’s eyes. Walking the earth wide open and singing.  Sitting in wonder.  Absorbing the resonances of the sounds brought as a gift by candlelight.  The gong filled with whale song. The mornings fresh, the nights pod like, nestled among my fellow travelers, yet in dark personal silence.  Full to brimming. Rain in the valley, snow on the mountain tops, hail and sunshine glowing through the trees, five white swans to grace us, a gaggle of geese landing in stunning symmetry on the pond….

There is bravery here, there is innocence, there is vulnerability, and there is power.  It is good. And so it is.

I say YES!

Yes to:

Surrender & Trust & Allowing & Receiving & Acceptance

Yes to:

The Grandmother & The Mother & to Gratitude and to Holiness

Yes to:

Deepening and Listening & Witnessing the Love & Radiance in the Eyes & Heart of Each Soul

Yes to:

The Earth, The Sun, The Stars, The Light, The Ancestors & to Spirit

Yes to Life in all her Guises, Learnings and Transformations

(with honor and love to Katherine, Wil, Debbie, Lynn, Lori, Red Star & Justin)

 

 

Too Much Woman

“There she is. . . the “too much” woman. The one who loves too hard, feels too deeply, asks too often, desires too much.

There she is taking up too much space, with her laughter, her curves, her honesty, her sexuality. Her presence is as tall as a tree, as wide as a mountain. Her energy occupies every crevice of the room. Too much space she takes.

She is dangerous.

And there she goes, that “too much” woman, making people think too much, feel too much, swoon too much. She with her authentic prose and a self-assuredness in the way she carries herself. She with her belly laughs and her insatiable appetite and her proneness to fiery passion. All eyes on her, thinking she’s hot shit.

Oh, that “too much” woman. . . too loud, too vibrant, too honest, too emotional, too smart, too intense, too pretty, too difficult, too sensitive, too wild, too intimidating, too successful, too fat, too strong, too political, too joyous, too needy—too much.

She should simmer down a bit, be taken down a couple notches. Someone should put her back in a more respectable place. Someone should tell her.

Here I am. . . a Too Much Woman, with my too-tender heart and my too-much emotions.

A hedonist, feminist, pleasure seeker, empath. I want a lot—justice, sincerity, spaciousness, ease, intimacy, actualization, respect, to be seen, to be understood, your undivided attention, and all of your promises to be kept.

I’ve been called high maintenance because I want what I want, and intimidating because of the space I occupy. I’ve been called selfish because I am self-loving. I’ve been called a witch because I know how to heal myself.

And still. . . I rise. Still, I want and feel and ask and risk and take up space.

I must.

Us Too Much Women have been facing extermination for centuries—we are so afraid of her, terrified of her big presence, of the way she commands respect and wields the truth of her feelings. We’ve been trying to stifle the Too Much Woman for ions—in our sisters, in our wives, in our daughters. And even now, even today, we shame the Too Much Woman for her bigness, for her wanting, for her passionate nature.

And still. . . she thrives.

In my own world and before my very eyes, I am witnessing the reclamation and rising up of the Too Much Woman. That Too Much Woman is also known to some as Wild Woman or the Divine Feminine. In any case, she is me, she is you, and she is loving that she’s finally, finally getting some airtime.

If you’ve ever been called “too much,” or “overly emotional,” or “bitchy,” or “stuck up,” you are likely a Too Much Woman.
And if you are. . . I implore you to embrace all that you are—all of your depth, all of your vastness; to not hold yourself in, and to never abandon yourself, your bigness, your radiance.

Forget everything you’ve heard—your too much-ness is a gift; oh yes, one that can heal, incite, liberate, and cut straight to the heart of things.

Do not be afraid of this gift, and let no one shy you away from it. Your too much-ness is magic, is medicine. It can change the world.

So please, Too Much Woman: Ask. Seek. Desire. Expand. Move. Feel. Be.

Make your waves, fan your flames, give us chills.

Please, rise.
We need you.”

-Ev’Yan Witney

Our Rarest Commodity

“As our world becomes increasingly polluted with noise, silence is becoming our rarest commodity. Through all the madness, how can we possibly hear what the Earth is so patiently trying to tell us? Wilderness is our only hope. The one place we can always come back to.”

-Scott Stillman